Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
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I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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