i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize