Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
