You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
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THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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