Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize