Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
sex in a hospital.. check
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
