I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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