You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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