$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
