I never want to see another naked old woman again.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize