My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Randomize
