i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
