areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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