Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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