ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
