That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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