worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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