found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
