I think I just saw someone hide a body.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
