just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
