new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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