On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
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shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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