if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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