But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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