So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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