My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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