Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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