I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
