when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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