i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
