I want to walk on stilts...naked
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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