dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
