just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
