its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
