What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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