I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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