take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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