how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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