She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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