You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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