He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
