I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
