Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If I die, sorry about rent.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
