Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
