Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
