So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
