Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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