I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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