Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
