Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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