CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
