toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
