A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
