You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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